MENTAL DINING

Villains of Black and White and all shades in between

2009-11-18T12:02:00.001-08:00

Right-wing whacko’s and far left looney tree-huggers. Seems that if you take the pulse of the United States (and many say-the World) that those two extremes are all we find. And why not.
We have separation of Church and state (good) so we can’t have a Christmas Tree at school (Bad). We don’t want gun control (good) so when people go insane and kill a whole bunch of people we get mad at the NRA (Bad). Look I realize that there are some issues to be extreme about-Child Pornography is bad. Period. There is not one argument (of any intellectual status) that can be made to say different. However, We can all be against using abortion as birth control (I’m against that) but if someone needs help (a relative or parent raped them, they were molested by a priest, they were drunk and stupid and forgot – at least the first time that happens) why destroy their lives, risk the woman’s health or traumatize a dozen people in the family just to protect the possibility of a life?
What I am essentially saying is that we have forgotten how to walk a middle road. Why? What is it about the middle, about shades of grey, that threaten us so? Have the issues become so important that we have forgotten-or ignore- the fact that these issues affect PEOPLE! Individuals.
So, now we have an issue. Let’s look at the cause. My therapist told me recently that the cause doesn’t matter-it doesn’t matter why something happens, whatever you think caused it, does, as long as you can use it to change the behavior. Well, I think that is a very good truth when it comes to individuals. Individuals can put aside seeking a cause and accept that the behavior must be changed. But when the whole are being led in one direction, it becomes harder because we can’t be looking for an individual change, we have to be looking for a change in society as a whole and it’s harder by far to change direction of a stamped or a riot than to alter the course of a single pedestrian.
All of the foregoing is really set up to look at one of the causes I believe underlie this issue. Movie Villains. I went to see “A Law Abiding Citizen” a few days ago. (for those of you who haven’t seen it I’ll try to be general but there may be spoilers ahead). The film posits that a good ma, loving father and husband, has his family taken from him in a brutal act and that in order for the ADA to keep his conviction rate high (“Some justice is better than no justice”. He says) he allows the murderer to get off with a slap on the wrist and the accomplice to face the ultimate penalty. Now here, the bad guy is despicable. He kills a child, rapes and murders a woman, does drugs, mistreats women in general. We thoroughly dislike him. However, the “Hero” in the film kills a dozen or so people who worked at their job everyday in order to try and help protect and defend us from people of that villainous sort. And how did they portray the “Hero”? They cast Gerard Butler, a fine actor who is very popular right now, they made hi sympathetic (we can all feel for a man who loses everything) They make him smart and far more likeable than the ADA in the case. I mean, I really liked the character, felt bad for him. If he had just killed the bad guys who did this to him, I would be cheering. But he kills more. And More. Finding fault not only with the system but everyone in it. Eventually even I realize that he cannot be pardoned for his sins. But why make us like him in the first place? Why make us empathize? Bonnie and Clyde with Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway. Die Hard with its charming yet sociopathic villain Hans Gruber, played by Alan Rickman. Darth Vader? Khan from Star Trek? Freddy Krueger, Matt Damon as Frank Abagnale Jr in “catch me if you can!”. We love the villains, we want them to win, we want them to succeed and succeed spectacularly. Yet we would never want them to succeed in real life. Did we want the Muslim Extremists to kill all those people and bring down the twin towers? Did we want the Fort Hood Shooter to kill and wound dozens of our soldiers? Did we cheer for the DC Sniper when he killed so many randomly on our highways? Yet in movies, books, etc…the villain is often more entertaining, more gloriously fun and exciting than the hero.
So, how can we see issues in shades of grey, identify with both sides and want to try and work out a compromise when we idealize the very sort of villains we daily deal with. Terrorists. Con Men. Murderers. We cheer and love them every day in fiction-TV, Movies and Books-and then decry them in real life…and yet even as we decry them, we remember (perhaps subconsciously) how we cheered someone similar the day before. I hate what happened at Fort Hood this month. I cheered quietly for Gerard Butler in the movies. No wonder we can’t feel for the individual as well as the crowd. No wonder we can’t act as harshly as perhaps needs to be done. We like our villains. We hate our villains. We want our villains.
Rarely in fiction is there a world of victims or a nation of victims. It’s almost always drawn down to seeing a very few individuals actually affected. And that’s what we start to see. One group or one individual or one side of an issue vs. the other group or side or issue. No ones in the middle. No innocent bystanders. Just bad guys and good guys and our opinions set in stone about both. Simultaneously liking and hating both. The shooter at Fort Hood was a hideous man and he may very well have had some terrorist motives. But what does that mean for other Muslim Americans in the service today? Can they all be innocent? Of course. But will they be treated that way? Maybe but I don’t hold a great deal of hope for that. We have to have our Villains and cheer for them, but in the end, destroy them and feel good about ourselves. Me, I wonder why it was okay for the ADA in “A Law Abiding Citizen” to get a happy ending, be successful, while the “hero" (or anti-hero if you will) ruins what’s left of his life with hate and vengeance and death. The world is not black and white. It is constantly moving shades of grey. Think about the individuals involved, work on making a decision one at a time and stop thinking that compromise, even a little, will be the same as defeat for your position. The world is not the movies. It’s not Comic books or TV shows. It’s you and your neighbor and the lady down the street and the Muslim across town and the Afrikaner in the next town. It’s everyone altogether and it’s each person as an individual. It isn’t simple or easy but it’s what will eventually find us a solution and survival that we can ALL live with!

This is Depressing

2009-09-06T18:36:00.000-07:00

I am feeling depressed. Now I don’t me in the “I had a bad day today” manner or the “Damn, I didn’t win the lottery” way. I mean I have been diagnosed with “Clinical Depression”. Take medication for it, I see a therapist (They are called “counselors’-damn, why couldn’t mine look like Deanna Troi).
Why am I telling you all this? Because I want you to understand where I come from on this decision. I do not choose to Blog about it because it’s the issue of the day or a hot topic, a news-grabber, etc… I am talking about it because it affects my life and millions of others each and every day. First a little background on depression so we can all be on the same page about whether or not this is a serious medical condition.
On the first page on www.Depression.com their banner reads as follows:
“Depression is not just something you can “snap out of”.
It’s thought to be caused by an imbalance of brain chemicals,
Along with other factors. Like any other serious medical condition.

Depression needs to be treated.”
From www.Healthnewsdigest.com a current article has the following headline:
“Depression effect on immune system may worsen cancer”.
And how many commercials do we see on televison for anti-depressants, all warning us that depression hurts everyone and needs to be controlled. There are a dozen or more popular medications on the shelves of your local pharmacy right now to help stabilize, control and even cure depression.
Of course reading the fine print on these meds you will see warnings like: “May cause suicidal thoughts to worsen” and “Some episodes of Depression cannot be prevented”.
Finally let’s look at what at the symptoms of Depression and what prognosis’s there are for it. On the NIMH website (sorry Mrs. Frisby), that stands for National Institute of Mental Health, They list the following symptoms’:
Symptoms
• Agitation, restlessness, and irritability
• Dramatic change in appetite, often with weight gain or loss
• Extreme difficulty concentrating
• Fatigue and lack of energy
• Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness
• Feelings of worthlessness, self-hate, and inappropriate guilt
• Inactivity and withdrawal from usual activities, a loss of interest or pleasure in activities that were once enjoyed (such as sex)
• Thoughts of death or suicide
• Trouble sleeping or excessive sleeping
Depression can appear as anger and discouragement, rather than as feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. If depression is very severe, there may also be psychotic symptoms, such as hallucinations and delusions. These symptoms may focus on themes of guilt, inadequacy, or disease

So we have here a disease that may cause suicide, Psychotic symptoms like hallucinations and delusions as well as all the others mentioned above. So, what are the prognosis’s we can look to in order to aid in our cure? Well, again from the NIMH site we get these most popular and effective cures:

Prognosis
The outcome is usually good with treatment. Although most depressive episodes can be effectively treated with either medication, psychotherapy, or both, Depression is a recurring problem for many people. For people who have experienced repeated episodes of depression, maintenance treatment may be needed to prevent future recurrences
Medications and psychiatric counseling may prevent depression from returning. Some episodes of depression are not preventable
Treatments
• Medication
• Psychotherapy
• Electroconvulsive Therapy
So basically, in a layman’s simplification, we can help overcome many of the symptoms but in many severe cases, continuous treatment is required. I know that personally I have taken some form of anti-depressant for about 15 years, so how long is “continuous”? 10 years? 15? 20? Forever?
OK, so this is all fascinating information Chris (That is me), but why are you giving us all this background? (Just call me Mr. Preamble). Actually, I’m telling you this because in the past year Depression has cost me at least 1 great job and is preventing me from constantly seeking new employment. It has cost me time with my children and wife, it has interfered with some of my favorite pastimes and it is still wreaking hell and havoc on my sleep schedule. Yet, with all of this, Depression is not considered a disability and by that I mean that the state, Insurance or even the Federal Government will not help out with even a short term disability loan. That work does not consider Depression a valid reason for missing a day’s work or having difficulties doing your job.
So, to recap, if I want (or need) to stay home, take medication, see a therapist and work at getting healthy and happy again (let’s remember that for me, so far that’s 15 years) then no one will help pay my rent, feed my family, help me out me out financially in any way. Could you go 15 years without steady employment Insurance or the guarantee of a roof over your head? I didn’t think so.
Today we have a range of Disabilities that are officially recognized from Obesity to Alcoholism. As an example, when my wife was fired from her job after 20 years with the company (because she has begun suffering from Depression as well-She couldn’t get out of bed to go to work) The company told her that if her difficulties were caused by Drugs or Alcoholism, they would keep her on and get her all the treatment she needed. When she told them that no, I am suffering from Depression, they let her go without another word.
I suppose this means if you’re Depressed, drink and do drugs and they (the omnipresent “They”) will help you till you are well. Is that really the message we want to send to society, that Drugs and Alcoholism are better treated and worth more of our attention than a mental disease affecting millions that may lead to Psychotic episode? In the last 10 years or so, we have faced Shooting and Suicide at Columbine; we have had several shooting rampages through colleges, Business offices, Churches. Do we think these people were all in their right minds? Is it possible that even one or two of them could have been prevented if they had been able to get government medical support, long term, for Depression? That’s not to say every suicide attack or shooting is because someone’s depressed but I would be willing to bet my Kidneys that some of these people suffered from some sort of Depression.
This year, President Obama is trying to push through a massive healthcare reform bill ( generally speaking I am for it, providing healthcare for everyone, regardless of income, etc…) however will any of these 500+ pages of the Bill speak to very real problem that we face, that of Depression? I am all for reform, helping everyone, making our country more and more like we envision it can and should be but while we are at it, let’s not forget the people we will still fail to help and that who, regardless of the reform that does or does not come about, will still live with their problem and get no help. Man, that’s depressing!

Lather, Rinse, Repeat,Repeat,Repeat

2009-08-23T23:55:00.000-07:00

Wow, I've had a couple of busy days so I was thinking that I'll take it easy with today's Blog and just talk about my favorite pastime, going to the movies and with it, one of my favorite parts, the previews. Let's take a look at the paper (you remember the Paper right?) and see what is coming up.

OK, we have: Fame; The Thing; Halloween II; Clash of the Titans; Logan's Run....oh wait a sec, this must be one of those cool retro papers that show you what was going on in the decade you were born in (or within 20 years or so).

I know, let's check the Internet. No more silly gag papers, now we'll see what is really coming up. Let's see, we have: Fame; The Thing; Halloween II; Clash of the Titans; Logan's Run...

OK, forget it, lets just watch some TV. Must be something good on there, right? Let's see, we can watch: "V"; Melrose Place; 90210 (sans Beverly Hills from the title-there's a breath of originality); America's Funniest Home Video's;...

OK, I give up. But I think you get the idea. Apparently, there is a huge sucking void when it comes to creativity and originality in TV and Movies today. Let's talk about why that is. Perhaps it's because these stellar, groundbreaking programs and films cannot be seen anywhere and we need to expose a new generation to them...oh wait, TV Land, DVD's, nope...must be something else.

What it really is comes down to two words: MONEY and LAZY (You can read Lazy as frightened, meek, whipped, take your pick).

Today's producers, Networks and Studio's do not want to look for talent and groom stars. What they want is a known quantity, no risk, no build an audience time. What they want is money and money NOW!

Remakes, Re-Remakes, Re-imaginings (one of my favorite new words that seem new and mean Shit) abound because they believe that if they produce a piece of crap with little to no talent or even reasonable talent AND put a name on it that we all remember, then the program, film or special has a built in audience. Even if it's awful, enough people will see it before it is generally conceded as awful that they will make their money back and who cares whether we, the money spending public, gets anything for their money. After all, if we hate it, we'll just wait till the next lame remake or re-imagined P.O.S. comes out and we'll go see it again.

AND WE DO. By the truckloads, the van-fuls. We order the pay per views, we buy the DVD's, we watch the movies.

We had 8 years of arguably one of the single worse governments we have ever had. We elected him again, even after arguing for the previous four years as to whether he was really elected. We hated him but we brought him back. He actually runs our country, decides our position on nuclear war, your taxes,our health care...and we brought him back...Eight years after his father was voted out after only 4 years,as one of the least popular presidents.

What does that have to do with TV and Movie remakes? Come on people, if we are willing to sit in our chairs and ignore the world around us, griping and pissing and moaning...and keeping the same people in charge of our lives and our country year after year, decade after decade, then why should Hollywood even concern itself with trying something new? It knows we will feed on whatever swill it pours into our trough and they do not have to worry about quality, intelligence, innovation, etc...

We accept what we are fed without thought , argument or action. Yes, there are those who protest, write letters, cry out for public change...and those people are getting elected, or electing the next generation, who then, content with their win, sit back and fight against any change.

Now I have to admit, I am a Democrat. I am a Sci-Fi fan. I loved the new Star Trek film and eagerly await another. I'm looking forward to seeing "V". But honestly, I'd give up ever seeing Kirk or Spock or Picard again if I could see one fresh vision, like Neil Blomkamp's "District 9" every couple of years. Not a never before told story or a amazing new idea. But he didn't remake "Alien Nation" or some other past success. He took idea's that we dealt with yesterday, deal with today and will feel the effects of tomorrow and made an original movie. And we saw it in droves. No big name American stars (or any American stars for that matter), no huge Hollywood press. Just a damn fine film, quality acting and a good story.

Next time the latest SAW movie is made, or Aliens is again on the screen, or FAME premieres at your local theatre, do all of us, yourselves included. Tell the Movie Theatre you'll come back and spend money when a NEW (ie; NOT A REMAKE) movie airs. Or, write a letter to the TV network of your choice and tell them you'll be reading a good book till a new show is put on the air.

And finally, when Obama runs again, or Jeb Bush...or Hillary....or Newt, please, look at their record, judge their past success's and failures, listen to what they say...and what they don't. Then, get off your ass and VOTE, CAMPAIGN, VOLUNTEER...don't wait till the next rudely made and vastly inferior sequel is foist upon us because we didn't want to be bothered.

I am ending this, realizing I didn't start out to make a political statement tonight...but it just seemed the right thing to do, regardless of whether you have seen it before or not.

It's time for a little Bull****

2009-08-15T15:08:00.000-07:00

The late, great George Carlin had a routine where he talks about words and their meanings and how we have watered down their true meaning while expanding the words themselves. He uses as an example "Shell Shock" and how veterans of war used to be mentally impaired by their time in combat and we called it "Shell Shocked". It was short, clear and concise and told you exactly what the problem was.

As time went on, we changed the term to sound nicer, softer or perhaps just more politically correct (I hate that term-more on it in a moment). It went from "Shell Shock" to "Battle Fatigue" to "Operational Exhaustion" and nowadays, finally, "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder".

Penn and Teller, The Great (but not yet late Magician duo) have an Showtime TV series called Penn and Tellers Bull****

They don't actually show the name on TV as that would be rude (or again, politically incorrect) even though it's on a subscription channel and only people who have purposely subscribed and choose to tune in can see it. I suppose the reasoning is that everyone who subscribes might have other people or children at their home who might, unsupervised, turn on the TV and see the title sequence.

So, where am I going with all of this? I am going to politics and our national debate on overhauling health care. I watch politicians from both sides talk about what it does or doesn't mean and how it will or won't help and I am feeling shell shocked with all the Bullshit! (oops, I guess I forgot to be pilitically correct).

Newt Gingrich, Sara Palin and many others on the political right warn of "Death Panels" and "Terminating Life" whether or not a person wants to end their life. They tell us we will be forced to give up our current insurance and that we will all be on a government dole and without recourse if we don't like it.

When they are told directly that these type of instances are not written into the legislation and that the President has pointed out over and over again that none of this is true, their answer is "Well, it's not actually in the legislation, but surely that's what they want."

They need to be told that what they are saying is Bullshit! We elected President Obama because we wanted change, and yet the response he gives to the opponents on the right still comes down to politically correct platitudes and responses.

When we watch a movie or a TV series and we see a make believe President of the United States tell someone that they are wrong and their argument is crap, we applaud and laugh and wish our politicians would speak that way...and yet, when they don't and they couch their terms in carefully worded sentences "full of sound and fury and signifying nothing," we change our opinions daily, approval ratings go up and down like a seesaw and we allow the wind from washingtons hot air to fill our sail and move us as it will.

Folks on the right need to start making the argument for or against what they believe in based on facts and if theyu hate something because the democrats thought of it first or changed a codasil in their platform, then say so. I will respect and defend a persons opinion which is truthful and direct far much more than I will someone who couches their belief in half-truths and politically correct platitudes.

And on the left, our President and his people need to get in touch with their own truths and their movement of change. If Sara Palin says "their will be Death Panels", then Obama has to say "That's Bullshit". We need to hear the unvarnished, simplest and most direct truth's from both sides of the aisle and then we need to think for ourselves, be honest with each other and make a choice and stick with it.

Bullshit isn't a pretty word, it sounds ugly and it hurts some peoples senseabilities...But I think it's the kind of word we need right now-along with the truth.

Related Links:

http://voices.kansascity.com/node/5447
http://firstread.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2009/08/13/2030936.aspx
http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/27248/
http://www.sho.com/site/ptbs/home.do
http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/politics/White-House-struggles-to-regain-control-of-the-message-on-health-8103357-53175397.html

Selfishness

2009-08-07T19:26:00.000-07:00

Greetings. My name is Chris and I'll be your blogger today (and most days actually). As this is my initial blog I thought I'd talk about a subject that is affecting me right this very minute and that is the topic of selfishness.

Just enough background to make this (and other posts) relevant, I am 48 yr old father of an 8 yr old boy and Uncle to my 11 yr old niece. In a week or two it will be their birthday (3 years and 4 days apart). Today, I thought I'd spend a little quality time with my son; Take him to a movie, maybe lunch or a new video game. Turns out, he wanted a new pair of shoes, some 'Rhino Tough' brand he saw on TV.

Guess what...I didn't have enough money for those. We bought movie tickets, got a snack at the theatre and bought him a new game for the X-Box. He enjoyed the movie and is looking forward to the game but when I asked how he enjoyed the movie, he said, "I don't want to talk to you because I wanted to get those shoes."

Now it's not as if he didn't want the movie and all the other things, he wanted those too. What he got out of our day together was not that we spent time together or had fun, what he got was I couldn't get him the shoes he wanted-as well as all the other stuff.

What bothers me most about this is I am afraid I made him this way. I am selfish too, at least I feel like I am. I want all my toys and doodads; Cell Phone, Laptop, latest PC Game, IPOD, etc... and I don't like to wait if I can help it.

I also like to bring gifts home for my son. If I am out for the day, or shopping at a store, I often see little things or books or a toy or something that I think he would like and often I get it for him.

My wife says I get him too much, I spoil him and I guess today it just sort of hit me between the eyes. I'd like to think that as my son grows older, he will remember me, my thoughts, life lessons I teach him, kindness that I show him. I hope he remembers laughing with me, building a snowman in winter, swimming. I'm just afraid that maybe (almost certainly sometimes) I don't do enough of those things and I do too much of the gifting things.

I'm also concerned that maybe it's not me that is the problem but maybe it is the way of the world. No one writes letters anymore because we don't want to 'wait' for snail mail. We have 150 channels on TV and 'Nothing good is on'.
Every website I visit offers free services and free subscriptions and then 'extra's' for only a little bit more-and we can easily use our credit card because everywhere accepts plastic.

Is that part of this problem too? Are we a world of selfish people who want what we want when we want it and we are not willing to wait or settle for less? I'm not certain I know the answer but I think it's a bit like the legal definition of obscenity..." I don't know what it is but I know it when I see it."

So, is my son already spoiled? Is it too late? Can I learn that I need to take a step back and stop being so selfish myself so that maybe I can teach him to appreciate life for more than just what gifts and toys it can get him? I hope so.

I realize that as a first entry into a Blog, this one isn't amazingly clever or deeply political or insightful into the mysteries of life...But maybe it's just a little insightful into the mysteries of being a good father. I think I need to study that mystery a little more. If you have any comments, feel free to leave them, I read (or I will read) every comment that's left.

Thanks for stopping by my little corner of the web and I'll look for you soon.